so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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