apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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