Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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