paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
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