sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
too bad you live with your parents still
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
