those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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