I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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