God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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