it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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