my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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