I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
