Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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