you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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