She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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