and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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