So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
