i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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