alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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