Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Text me some of your sweat
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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