If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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