Sry I called you an 8
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
