Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
