Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
