No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
