I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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