There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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