The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
