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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
