You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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