Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
