He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
