whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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