i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize