marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
