My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
