I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
