he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
