Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
