alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
