Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
