So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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