Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
do nipples grow back?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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