We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
