Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
