party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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