i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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