I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
