hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
