We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
