I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
