It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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