They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize