what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
