this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
