Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize