So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
