i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
