I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
