Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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