So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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