that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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